My girl is very sensitive when it comes to hair matters, she has this specific hairdresser, and when she is not available we do one thing: WAIT FOR HER! Previously I never used to understand, I thought she is being a baby, and should grow up, get to a salon and be brave! So, I used to force her through different salons, and we go back home with all her blood veins exposed. She often cried and told me never to take her back there again, but I continued choosing salons for her at my convenience. Until the day we came from the salon and landed in hospital and I had to undo the hair, because it was too much. I couldn’t believe it, she had actually been suffering.
#1: Don’t ignore! When a child often complains about something specific, pay attention!
Someone leaves the doors open in my house, especially the bathroom and toilet doors. It makes me sick! I have to go round closing them before I sleep. The good news is that, there are only two of us! And I know it’s not me. I keep telling her, close doors behind you, one day we will move into a mansion and we will leave them open because no one will notice, but in this small house, visitors might see everything right from the door. So let’s keep the doors closed. But she never does. She went to see her grandparents this Christmas and guess what? I go back home and find doors open. Am thinking all this time, I’m the human being who has been leaving doors open, and she emulates what she sees.
#2: If you want your child to do something, don’t just tell them. Do it!
I have never wanted anyone to clean my house and wash our clothes. I can do it! I can handle being a mother, a teacher and go to work all day! Of course it is my responsibility. I’d rather wake up at 3am and clean, then go to bed past midnight cooking for the next day, than ask someone to come do my duties. This year I have learnt the hard way, that sometimes everyone needs a little help. That I don’t need to kill myself with so much to do just to show my child how hardworking I’m and how I can handle it. It got to a point when I was so fatigued, moody and worn out that she was concerned.
#3: There is no ‘supermom’, or ‘superparent’, once in a while, get time to rest.
Have you ever felt like you are in charge of your child’s life? That without you they will die? I used to feel like it’s all me, she depends on me. I provide, I make sure she is okay. I organize everything and I have plans for her. Then I started asking myself tough questions, is she all mine? Am I really in charge? Do I give her life? It dawned on me that just the way God has been with me, God has taken good care of me and worked in me, just the way I believe God leads and guides me, and above all I belong to Him: My creator. My baby belongs to God too, and I should not teach her to depend on me, I should not teach her to depend totally on me or that I’m in charge, instead I should direct her to God, for peace, provision, strength and satisfaction. That has been my greatest lesson in 2016.
#4: Your child is God’s first.